Someone asked me recently regarding my characters and specifically, which did I find the most interesting to write about. I thought this was an easy question to answer and so I sat down at the keyboard and…my characters began to argue amongst themselves over who was the most interesting.
Attempting to break up this fight was not going to be easy. Renoldus threatened to run Blackout through me, Ingrid said she would tell my wife I secretly desired her, Skuti mentioned something about an ancient magic and Rycardus’s voice began to growl. And that doesn’t include some of the other players who either menaced me with violence, offered money and one female character…well never mind about that.
Only by veiled threats about the sequel did I get them to settle down. First, I told them they were my children and I loved each of them, only in different ways. That statement netted a chorus of “Yeah, but who do you love the most?” Clearly, this was not going to be easy.
Finally, I dismissed them and got up from the keyboard and grabbed a cold ale and pretended I was at the King’s Key. Then reality settled in. I have to write my first blog and time is of the essence. My characters went into a full scale riot, and I still have nothing to write about. Hmmm. Tomorrow’s a cycling day, maybe I can meet with them in a more friendly environment and talk to them one on one. One can only hope.
The morning came and I put on my cycling clothes, filled my water bottles and checked the tire pressure. I thought about playing the tough guy. “I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out of it.” But that’s really not my style and given where the story is headed, it’s an idle threat, really. Maim, injure, make ugly, so many ways to inspire behavioral compliance, but then again, do those threats carry any weight? Alas no. The whole tough guy approach isn’t going to work. They’ll read right through it. Plus they’re smart, right? I did create them with some semblance of intelligence. Well, most.
After navigating traffic I made my way down a hill and headed up another when I summoned Renoldus for a chat. It didn’t take long to get to the heart of the matter.
“I’m the most interesting,” he said, “and there is no reason to discuss it any further.”
“Well,” I said, “it seems fair to get everyone’s opinions.”
“Faire is a place where you show your pigs.”
Wait. He’s using my own words against me. This is getting more than a little uncomfortable.
“And just where did you pick up that clever remark?”
“Must’ve overheard it at the Key.”
It seems characters are a lot like young children. You don’t have to teach them to lie.
“Help me to understand why you’re the most interesting.”
“I possess the greatest sword ever made, Blackout, Conqueror of Evil. My war stories speak to my bravery, swordsmanship and honor. I’ve won more battles than you could even think to write about. I made Brüeland whole again, avenging the death of my father Sir Jeames and the last of the great warrior-kings, King Tarquin Blackwood.”
“Impressive.”
“This is why there is no need to discuss the matter any further.”
“Go have an ale.”
“I fail to see the humor in that.”
Sir Renoldus Gwatkin, the Black of Brüeland, began to tap the pommel of Blackout with his index finger. There was a smirk on his face which I found odd because I haven’t seen him do that. Must’ve picked it up from his good friend Sir Terrin Omond, the Trusted while sharing ales at the King’s Key a well-known tavern in the heart of Crence.
I’ve reached the halfway point of my ride and I stop to take a break and gaze at the ocean atop a bluff at Swami’s beach as I usually do when I take this route. There are several breaks along the coast, but Swami’s Reef is considered one of the best. Kooks are not allowed anywhere near the water there. I’ve seriously digressed…
As I’m refueling and preparing to leave, who should show up but none other than Aeehrl Skuti Ingimund of Ashul in eastern Flace.
“You couldn’t wait until I was in motion again?” I said.
“No,” he said.
I noticed something I had missed when he first appeared. It wasn’t a good thing either.
“Why is Bloodspiller in your hand?”
“I’m going to destroy this carbon fiber creation.”
“Just stop. That’s an idle threat.”
“Is it?”
“Seriously dude, I don’t have time for this.”
I merge onto the road and a slight downhill. The Sun’s out, breeze feels great and I’m really starting to enjoy my day. Suddenly…
“I’m the most interesting person,” said Aeehrl Skuti, with axe resting in its holder on his belt.
“Why is that?” I reply.
“Look at the life you’ve given me. A man I trusted is attempting to betray me and my wife’s twin is married to him. While all this is happening I’m trying to unify this disparate of Aeehrls while I’m convinced the Advocate’s forces are heading our way.”
“You do have a lot on your plate.”
“What does a plate have to do with this?”
These conversations happen quite often. I’ll use a phrase to explain a certain situation in terms they are unfamiliar with. There are times I forget who it is I’m talking to. It works in reverse too. I’ll start talking to a friend in a way that they don’t understand. It was once quite annoying, but now they just roll their eyes. Me? I curse at them in a language beyond their scope of understanding. I also tell them I’m going to send a raiding party to their neighborhood and have them burn it to the ground.
“You’re story is underrated for sure,” I say.
“What in the name of god’s does that mean?” he said.
Exactly. I pull up to a stoplight and try to translate my words. Carefully.
“Your story is complex and there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. I’d say your storyline is the most interesting.”
“That means I’m the most interesting.”
“Let me think about it.”
The light turns green. I pedal like there’s no tomorrow. No further interruptions as I head for the last stretch thinking about what to do with a particular part of the second book. I have to get this one done quicker than the first volume. My gardening style can be a disadvantage if I’m not on my “A” game.
Rycardus will state his case soon. He always comes at night even when I’ve told him not to. I hope he doesn’t bring his whore with him. She’s a dangerous woman and on a few occasions I’ve regretted putting her in the story.
Until the next time…